Daisies and Deoderant
by FlightAngel
Summary: Tenten, Hinata, Sakura, and Ino have something up their sleeve when they lure the Naruto Boys to their secret slumber party for some allnight fun... humor, Nejiten, KibaHina, ShikaIno and some random pairings inbetween. Some references to yaoi
1. Planning the Party

**Daisies and Deodorant**

+--------------------------------------+

_Chapter 1_

Planning the Party

+------------------------+

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto's world. However, I do own this story. So don't you DARE steal my story idea and plot or I will HUNT YOU DOWN! …thank you_

+--------------------------------------+

"—and then we need some flower bouquets too, y'know, for the simulation wedding at eleven, I think you can take care of those, right, Ino? And then we need some really fancy dresses, now where will we get some really fancy dresses? Do you people have any fancy dresses?"

"Um… ano, s-some of my a-aunts keep some formal d-dresses for special o-occasions, so…. Um…"

"Perfect! Hinata will take care of the really fancy dresses, and then we need tableware… um, I think I have some, but it'll be better if someone has blue tableware, Sakura do you have blue tableware?"

"Tenten, why would I have blue tableware?"

"I don't know, you just might… um, food and drink, check, location, check, boys? Um… have we come up with any super awesome plan to lure the boys here at eleven? No? Er… Sakura, you take care of that, you've got the brains around here… don't look at me like that Ino, it's true! Ok, we also need craft supplies…"

"Craft supplies?"

"Yes, Ino, _craft supplies_. You know, like glue and cardboard, fake flowers, ribbons, buttons, the lot. I hope you have some, otherwise we'll have to go on a midnight shopping spree…"

"I-I like m-midnight shopping sprees…"

"Really, Hinata? Have you ever been on one?"

"Uh huh… l-lots of times… with Neji-niisan…"

"You go on shopping sprees with Neji!"

"Ano… well, when my period started this September…. Umm…. Er……"

"Ok, Hinata, we get it. Anyways, so we add a midnight shopping spree to our to-do list? That means we need money…"

"That's no problem Tenten! Look at this!"

"Wow!"

"Awesome!"

"Sakura, when did you get the chance to swipe your mom's debit card?"

"When she leaned over to pick up some dishes I took it from her purse! Aren't I great?"

"Yes, Sakura-_forehead_ awesome."

"You shut up Ino _pig_, you're just jealous of my ninja-skills!"

"A-ano… is it o-ok to steal stuff f-from your m-mom? Won't y-you get in tr-trouble…?"

"Its fine, Hinata! It's not like we're doing drugs or anything! Just going on a shopping spree!"

"B-but Neji-niisan to-told me that st-stealing was b-bad…"

"Screw Neji! He's way too uptight…. No offense to you, Tenten, but it's true."

"Yeah, I know… but he's still really hot."

"Uh… yeah, you think that Tenten… anyways… so what's our to-do plan?"

"Neji… uh, what? Oh, sorry… ahem, let's see, first we bring out the snacks and eat and gossip for like, two hours… then we play traditional sleepover games, like truth or dare and other little games I got with my 'deluxe sleepover game kit'…"

"Wow, that's awesome Tenten, where'd you get that?"

"On eBay. Through the mail."

"A-ano… Neji-niisan a-also says that e-eBay is a nonsensical w-way of l-losing concentration a-and w-wasting m-money that could b-be spent on w-weapons…"

"Girl, you should stop listening that that _boy_. You know how _men_ are."

"Yeah, they're totally obnoxious brats…"

"…and insensitive losers…"

"…but they're still hot."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"What? What? What are you staring at me for? Is it my fault you lot haven't completely hit puberty yet? Huh?"

"…Whatever Tenten. What else?"

"Mm…? Oh, alright, after doing the games, we pretend to go to sleep. We wait until my parents finally go to bed, and then we sneak out to the tree house in the backyard. Of course, we bring everything with us… we'll put on the fancy dresses and pretend we're getting married to the guy of your choice, _no Sakura and Ino, don't fight over Sasuke or I will STRANGLE you_, explain why we like him, _yes, we will explain! _Ano, Hinata, your face is so red… do you want some water? You look faint."

"Um…um…. n-no, I'm f-fine…"

"…ooooook, anyways, we then lure the boys here and confess our love."

"…"

"…"

"…WHAT! Tenten, are you insane!"

"No! I'm serious!"

"Ah! I can't possible confess my love! Never! Never!"

"U-um… I-I've got a question…"

"Yes Hinata? And you don't have to raise your hand, it's not like I'm your sensei or anything."

"O-ok, b-but what if the b-boys don't like u-us back?"

"Don't be silly! Why wouldn't the boys like pretty girls like us? I mean, we've got half the normal male population of Konoha kneeling at our feet!"

"…"

"What is it Hinata?"

"W-what if… w-what if they're gay?"

"…"

"Ew, Hinata, don't think that way. What makes you think that anyways?"

"um… Neji-niisan says…"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Hinata shut your mouth _right now_! I will not have you destroy my perfect view of Hyuuga Neji! I will find out myself today!"

"… It's no sacrifice to you, Tenten; we all know who you like."

"…shut up. Ok, so does everyone know what to bring? What we're doing?"

"Hey, Tenten."

"What is it, Ino?"

"Should we bring condoms."

"Agh, INO!"

"Ew…"

"…"

"No! Ino, look what you've done! Hinata! Hinata! Can you hear me!"

"She fainted, Tenten."

"Nooooo! Someone get an ambulance?"

"Don't worry, I'm an expert at medical treatment… er… you do this hand signal, then this one… and then I think…"

"I'm going to get out of here, before Sakura-forehead botches up a jutsu…"

"SHUT UP INO PIG!"

"So tomorrow at six?"

"Yep! See you there!"

--------------------------------------+

Author's notes: I know its all dialogue, but I'm hoping people can read this through well enough! Thanks for reading! Please R/R!


	2. In the Beginning

**Daisies and Deodorant**

+--------------------------------------+

_REVIEWS_

+------------------------+

Thanks to all my _wonderful_ reviewers! Wow… this fic has so many reviews already compared to my other ones…. Mm… the secret of reviewers… I still need to figure that one out… Anyways…

**Spirit of the Dragon**: _HAHAHA! That was good. But I think TenTen was a little OOC. But I like her that way! Update soon! This is goin't to my favorites_

Me: Thanx… lol you caught me. I don't know Tenten very well so I have a rather hard time capturing her personality… so another warning is expect EXTREMEM OOC WITH TENTEN PEOPLES! I need to have one over-obsessed girl in my fic, and I just decided to choose her

**Sonic**: Update update

Me: I will I will

**Anonymous**: _Funny! Update soon!_

Me: Thanks, I will update soon! Hopefully I can get my chapters beta-read so they can be more high quality and without all my stupid punctuation mistakes ;;

**Clover715**: _hey this was a really good story i cant wait how they get the guys down there though. CONTINUE!_

Me: Thank you… mm, you will all find out how they lure the boys to the tree house soon enough… /cackles like a witch/ mwahahaha!

**MiKaNo-HiKaRi**: _Haha sounds good! Please update soon! _

Me: Har har, I must warn you peoples I have not finished a story in my entire life except for _Two in the Morning_, my other Naruto fic. So I hope you reviewers/readers/critics will help pressure me on… I seriously need to finish something, fast…

**Mint**: _Its a good idea for a story... Plz continue._

Me: I will! Or try to. Continue, that is. Blegh, how can I write a good story.../Goes and consults my writer's sense/ Meh, I must prevail!

**Strengh-91-possibility-none**: _i like how you just put the dialogue yet you didn't leave anything out. update soon!_

Me: lol thank you. The all-dialogue idea was one I never tried before because many people complained that they couldn't follow my characters… but with fanfictions its so much easier since everyone already knows the characters! I. Will. Prevail. In. UPDATING!

+----------------------------------+

_Chapter 2_

In the Beginning

+------------------------+

It had all begun with one sentence.

"Hey, are you actually a girl under there?"

"What!"

Evidently, Sakura did successfully punish Naruto for his usual loud-mouth brainless comment, but even so, she was disturbed by what he said.

After two hours of hard-core 'training' with Ino, she examined her dirtied and rather disgusting looking fingernails. It was like while she was asleep the moldy-dirt boogie man had come in the night and turned her fingernails into little portie potties or something. She smelled her hands. Ok, so they smelled like it too.

Then she sat by the small pool and examined her oily pink hair which she hadn't washed for two weeks straight due to long, excessive, and continuous missions which usually involved something that would dirty her up one way or another. Damn, it was so oily she could probably open up her own ramen noodle shop using the oil as the soup… she could just totally imagine Naruto slurping up that ramen… ew…

Finally, she sniffed under her armpit and almost passed out.

"Augh!" She gurgled, lying in the grass. Ino, who was stretching by the sidelines, raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Sakura stayed motionless for a second, before she rolled over and moaned. "There has got to be some better way."

"Better way of what?"

"Of being girls!"

"?"

------------------------+

The day after, Sakura firmly established the Shinobi Girls Club of DOOM! by politely asking her old sensei, Umino Iruka, on how to establish a club.

"--so in clause 47.09 we state that to become a member of the Shinobi Girls Club of DOOM! You must be, a.) a shinobi b.) a girl and c.) twelve years and older. In clause 47.1 we state--"

Iruka-sensei sweat dropped as Sakura read through the clauses, terms, warrants, and other such things as he struggled to keep hold on the two filing cases he had been carrying out of the classroom before he was interrupted. Being a chuunin, he should have had no trouble carrying the two boxes, but as the hours ticked by as Sakura talked he could feel the boxes growing heavier and heavier…

"Alright, alright, Sakura, I'll go and talk to the Hokage about it, ok? I'll get him to sign an official certificate that the…er… what your little club called again?"

"The Shinobi Girls Club of DOOM! DOOM meaning 'Dangerous, Odor-inducing, Oily-haired Missions'."

"…er ok, that the Shinobi Girls Club of DOOM! is now an official club… um… I'll give it to you via Naruto ok? Next time we eat ramen…"

"Thank you sensei!"

"Er… bye."

Needless to say, Sakura was a little less than happy when Naruto gave her the ramen-oil stained certificate two days later ("NARUTO WHAT DID YOU DO!") but with a little white-out and a cleaning jutsu she had the official certificate framed and hanging by noon.

She stared at if for a good two hours.

"Damn." She said to herself. "I need some members, right?"

------------------------+

So Sakura, in her impossibly large amount of spare time, recruited Ino (who gladly agree to join anything which involved makeup and girls) who then dragged in Hinata, which Neji was not very happy about.

"Excuse me, but what are you doing with my cousin?" He glared at Ino coldly with his arms crossed. Hinata squeaked and tried to hide behind the larger girl, and thankfully Ino was not in the mood for an arrogant, obnoxious girly boy at that moment.

"Now listen here little boy!" Ino snapped her fingers in Neji's rather surprised face, "I don't really care if you were the top shinobi of your graduating class! But Hinata is a shinobi, she is a girl, and she is definitely twelve years old, so SHE WILL JOIN THE SHINOBI GIRLS CLUB OF DOOM! WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!"

"A-ano…" Hinata whimpered as Ino dragged her out of range from the Hyuuga Mansion. Neji glared daggers at their retreating backs before making an odd face.

"…shinobi girls club of doom...?"

A random soda bottle appeared behind him and hid him square in the head. Neji toppled over.

"That's the _S_hinobi _G_irls _C_lub of _DOOM!_ Neji! Not the shinobi girls club of doom. Woah that sounds cool. Hey Hinata wait up!" Tenten jumped out of some unsuspicious looking trees and raced after Ino. But not before picking Neji's unconscious form up, brushing him off, and propping up against the Hyuuga Mansion Gate. "Sorry Neji, hey Ino wait up!"

Therefore, in the course of another two days, Sakura had obtained three willing /cough/not/cough/ new members.

"Ok! As the leader of the Shinobi Girls Club of DOOM! I now will list out all the stuff we will do!" Sakura pulled out a pink fluffy rimmed notebook out of her pink cherry blossom backpack and flipped to some page in the middle. "Um… let's see… Tenten's tree house will now be our main club location… after every mission, you can come back to the tree house and rejuvenate using the lotions, shampoos, makeup-stuff, and body things to feel like a girl again…" Sakura was now squinting as she was trying to read her own handwriting, "Um… said items need to be purchased…" She flipped through some pages, "So we'll have our first ever fundraiser!"

Now, since this was an all-girl club, everyone was extremely excited. Everyone knew girls loved fundraisers.

After some squabbling (mostly between Ino and Sakura), Tenten finally took charge and ordered everyone to different tasks. By the time she was done with her bossing around, she was totally confident that the fundraiser was going to be a success. "_Now… time to gather some… helpers…_" She grinned, evil idea already forming in her mind.

------------------------+

"Oh lord, these are so _cute!_" A random middle aged woman passerby happily picked up one of the many flower fans laid down neatly on the display table at the edge of the street. "These flowers are authentic, right? They smell so good, and they're pressed so they'll never loose their fragrance and beauty too…" The fat overflowing boy standing as clerk glared at her. Ino elbowed him sharply below the ribs. He jumped.

"Er… um… these fans were handmade using real paper and bamboo…. Um… Ino… how did it go again… ow! Ok, ok…. Also each individual bunch of flowers on each fan was hand-pressed… and that fragrance you're smelling…" Chouji paused. "Er…" He looked as if he'd seen a ghost. "Um…"

"Chouji… how troublesome… what are you doing here?"

Shikamaru, carrying a plastic bag over his shoulder, looked at the little fundraiser stand, bored out of his mind. He leaned forward and sniffed at the fans. "Hey, isn't this Sakura's perfume? Didn't she take that perfume class the summer when we graduated…? Then she started making all those wacko perfumes which was so troublesome since they distracted me from thinking…" He paused. "Damn that's got to be the most I've ever said."

"Shikamaru!" Tenten burst out of the back of the stall. She reeked of cherry blossom perfume. "Perfect! Another willing helper!"

"Willing?" Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"_Yes,_" Tenten cackled, suddenly latching onto his arm with an iron-hold grip, "_Very _willing."

"What makes me think I'll join you in this troublesome fan-selling?"

Ino dug out a stuffed deer plush from her backpack and shook it in front of Shikamaru's face.

Squeezing it, it said in a squeaky voice, "I Love Grass!"

Shikamaru's eyes widened.

"Doe-doe!"

"Hahahaha!" Tenten laughed as she took the stuffed toy, "If you don't help out I'll drop little _Doe-Doe_" She dangled it above an intoxicating pot of pink _stuff_, "into this pot of perfume!"

In no time at all, Shikamaru was the one standing behind the counter as clerk.

A little girl came in front of the stand. "Ooh! Mommy these smell good! Mommy can I have one? Please? Please! This one! It's purple! I like purple, because your dress is purple and I like Mommy so can I get one please!" The anxious mother looked at Shikamaru expectantly.

Shikamaru took out an oily perfume-smelling note card and read, "These fans were handmade using real paper and bamboo. Each individual bunch of flowers on the fans was hand-pressed to keep the blah blah blah blah…. Bluh bluh bluh, blah blah blah…" He flipped through more little oily note cards. "Um… let's see… blah blah blah… bluh bluh bluh…"

The mother stared at him like he was crazy. "Blah blah blah? Bluh bluh bluh?" She questioned.

Shikamaru nodded. "Yes…" He stared at the card, "…so troublesome. Blah blah blah…. That cost 150 yen… blah blah blah… bluh bluh—" The mother hastily handed over the money, took the fan, and ran. Shikamaru looked at the money and dumped it into the little basket marked 'The Shinobi Girls Club of DOOM! (Dangerous, Odor-inducing, Oily-haired Missions) Fundraising Money'.

He looked back at Chouji, who was now in charge of sorting different flowers into different baskets. "How did they get you to help?"

"Ino stole my chips." Chouji mumbled. "Then she stole my wallet so I couldn't buy any more…"

"Ah…" Shikamaru said wisely.

------------------------+

Thus, in the end, the girls eventually gathered enough money to buy several different types of lotion, perfume, bath-stuffs, makeup and other girly things. Though, when it came down to 'personal hygiene', there was, to say, a problem.

"What's deodorant?"

Everyone stared at the pale-eyed girl as she studied the shopping list. Feeling the hard gaze of her peers, Hinata shrank inward. "A-ano… did I… s-say something…bad?"

Ino faked a swoon. "Oh lord, Hinata doesn't know what deodorant is!"

"We shall open you to the world of baby powder and freshness!"

"…eh?"

Thus, the whole afternoon was spent pulling Hinata through piles and piles of deodorant bars and deodorant spray and little towelette-things that were supposed to 'wipe the scent away' ("Deodorant towels?" Hinata asked, confused) and after the first hour the smell was intoxicating.

"…so you know what to do when you choose deodorant right?"

Hinata blinked shyly and looked around, "um… ok…" She approached the deodorant bar section, "you're supposed to… choose the scent you want…" Hinata took a random deodorant bar, "Then open it…" She opened the cap, "And smell it right?"

The other girls nodded.

"Ok... and for the towelettes you can't really try them out until you buy them…" She looked into the deodorant spray section, "And for the spray you pick it up, open the cap and spray some in the air then smell it right?" She reached for an unsuspicious black bottle and was ready to spray. Sakura's eyes widened.

"Hinata don't!" She shrieked, but the white-eyed girl had already sprayed and everyone gagged and fell to the ground.

"Curse you Axxe! Curse you!" Ino let out a strangling sound on the floor, and Tenten was moaning and covering her nose.

"Oh gross…. we're going to smell like testosterone all day now…"

"Uh…" Hinata looked sheepishly at the guilty container of Axxe, "…sorry?"

------------------------+

So life in the Shinobi Girls Club of DOOM! remained girlish and odd. After the fundraising episode, Tenten took official charge of the club since Sakura felt like she couldn't possibly order anyone around /cough/Ino/cough/ and planned a bunch of small events and things for them to do in their spare time.

Such events were birthday parties for their fellow shinobi (there was once when Tenten and Ino had sneak into an adult shop to get some Paradise books for Kakashi-sensei's birthday), fundraisers to buy certain shinobi better weapons ("I don't need any more stupid weapons Ino…. So…? So what if they're a little rusty and dull and can't cut through hair even if I used all my strength? Just leave me alone! Look, go push Chouji around ok? Sheesh…. so troublesome…") and random makeover days ("We need to get rid of that _awful_ skin complexion of yours! Come here!").

Meetings were usually only and hour long and consisted of gossip and girl stuff (painting nails, accessorizing, etc. etc.)… until now. Now, there was something much bigger, much more fun, and totally more risky than any of the wacko mini-missions Tenten's put them up with before.

Damn, this was going to be fun.

--------------------------------------+

Author's notes: Lol sorry I went into flashback mode people. I know you want to hear more about the sleepover, but I couldn't get to that without some background info right? Just to make it up to you, I'm planning on writing a short extra on the Shinobi Girls Club of DOOM! So keep an eye out. Thanks for reading and please R/R! No flames! Thank you!


	3. The Starburst Incident

**Daisies and Deodorant**

+--------------------------------------+

_REVIEWS_

+------------------------+

Yay! Reviewers/Does a little happy dance/ Because 1.) I think it is easier to write dialogue 2.) People think it's funnier 3.) It takes a lot less time I've reverted back to dialogue for this chapter. Please read the authors notes at the bottom to see what the system is, thanks.

**Guiltshow**: _Very, very cute. / I can't wait for the next chapter. / My favorite like is - 'Doe-doe!' / Good luck. - JH_

Me: Lol that doe-doe part was the most fun to write… thank you… I'm uploading the new (dialogue) chapter now…

**ShadowKing2: **_you ignorant moron you forgot all about the sleepover part_

Me: Please refer to Chapter 2's author's note…

**csister**: _Write more!_

Me: I will! Hopefully…

**Animesoul167**: _That was a great story. I'm gonna be laughing for a while now! Can't wait for the sleep over!_

Me: Thank you… oddly, my beta-reader has not replied… TT Oh well, get on without her… Yes! First part of sleepover! Done!

**Kiyoshi-chan**: _Oh God, this is great! Freaking hilarious! By the way, you said 'Damn, this is going to be fun.' don't you mean funnier, 'cause this is already fun! -(Quiet child)  
P.S. I miss the dialogue..._

Me: Lol I know it's not as funny when you have to read through mounds and mounds of writing… so this chapter I'll make it all easier for you!

+----------------------------------+

_The Shinobi Girls Club of DOOM! stage show_

_EXTRA_

+------------------------+

_(Shikamaru walks on stage)_

_Shika: (ahem) (straightens shirt and leans forward to mike) Today, we will blah blah, bluh bluh bluh, blah blah blah bluh blah blah bluh blah bluh blah bluh blah blah blah bluh bluh (coughcough) ahem blah blah blah bluh bluh bluh… bluh blah… therefore please enjoy the show._

_(walks off stage)_

_Ino: NOOOOOO!_

_Tenten: What's wrong, Ino?_

_Ino: MY CINNAMON LOTION!_

_Tenten?_

_Ino: (holds up empty bottle) What the heck happened to my lotion!  
_

_Tenten: You used it all up…?_

_Ino: No I didn't! I just bought it yesterday!_

_Hinata: (holding stomach) Ugh…_

_Tenten: What's wrong, Hinata?  
_

_Hinata: I have a stomachache…_

_Tenten: Do you have any idea why?_

_Hinata: It may have something to do with my toast this morning…_

_Tenten: Toast? Is that why I see crumbs in the treehouse?_

_Hinata: Yeah… it was good though… I really like your butter Tenten._

_Tenten: …butter?_

_Hinata: Yeah, that bottle of cinnamon butter. It was so good I ate it all._

_Tenten: OO!_

_Ino: NOOOOOOOOOOO! MY CINNAMON LOTION!_

_Hinata: …cinnamon lotion?_

_the end_

+----------------------------------+

_Chapter 3_

The Starburst Incident

+------------------------+

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto's world. However, I do own this story. So don't you DARE steal my story idea and plot or I will HUNT YOU DOWN! …thank you_

+--------------------------------------+

"Those are mine!"

"Mine, you stupid Ino-pig!"

"Sakura-forehead!"

"Oink, oink!"

"Ooh! Look at me! I can post ads on my forehead because IT'S SO FRICKIN BIG!"

"What did you just say hog?"

"HOG!"

"Yeah, go roll back into that mud pit of yours and drown in your own crap!"

"A-ano… s-should you be using w-words like that…? N-Neji-niisan a-and F-father both tell me i-it's…"

"It's what, Hinata? Huh? What else should I say to that—that, that annoying pink-haired blob?"

"Pink-haired blob!"

"…it's unlady-like…"

"It's what? Sorry _Hi-na-ta_ I totally can't hear you because of that hog-hag's oinking!"

"I-it's UNLADY-LIKE!"

"Screw unlady-like!"

"Ow! Stop pulling my hair!"

"Give me back my starburst! Those are mine! MINE!"

"No way! These were mine first!"

"Fine!"

"OW!"

"What are you two doing?"

"SHE WON'T GIVE ME BACK MY STARBURST!"

"Those were mine first! FIRST! See these starburst wrappers? Where'd I get these? Huh? HUH!"

"You got them after you stole them!"

"Hinata, who's starburst was it?"

"…"

"It was mine! Hinata, say it was mine!"

"No way, _Geicko save millions of dollars_, those were mine first!"

"What did you say?"

"You're a billboard remember?"

"Ino!"

"Here."

"HEY!"

"Tenten give that back! Why'd you steal my starburst?"

"YOUR starburst? How many times do I have to tell you, those are mine!"

"…"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Tenten you are evil!"

"Too bad. I ate the last one."

"No! It was pink too. My favorite flavor!"

"_Your_ favorite flavor? It was MY starburst!"

"Can we please stop talking about starburst? What a stupid way to start a sleepover with…"

"…"

"…"

"…it's all her fault."

"MY fault? _You_ stole my starburst!"

"No, it was—"

"SHUT UP!"

"…"

"…"

"…woah Hinata, I didn't know you had it in you."

"Thank you. Can we please g-get started now?"

"Alright, alright."

"THESE ARE MINE!"

"What! But I like sour cream and onion chips too!"

"Too bad Sakura-forehead, these are now mine!"

"You have to share! That's what a club is all about!"

"Well you stole my starburst! All you had to do was ask!"

"I didn't steal it! It was mine first; you're the one who stole it!"

"C-can you pass the ch-chips please?"

"Sure, here Hinata."

"What! You give Hinata some sour cream and onion chips but not me?"

"Of course I'm not going to give my rival for Sasuke's affections some of _my_ precious sour cream and onion chips!"

"Why you!"

"Hinata, how was your day today?"

"Um… it w-was ok… w-we went to w-work in the infirmary as o-one of our missions…"

"What did you do? Clean up some blood? NO SAKURA KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY CHIPS!"

"Ino-Pig-Hog-Chouji!"

"Did you just call me Chouji!"

"Yeah! And if you keep eating those chips the way you are now you'll look like him too!"

"Augh! Hinata, give me that fan!"

"Ow!"

"Take this!"

"Ow! Tenten!"

"Shut up, both of you! I want to hear Hinata's day today!"

"A-ano Tenten… y-you don't have to…"

"Look Hinata, do you seriously think those two will shut up any time soon? We have to distract them."

"Oh…"

"Ha! Take this! And that! And this!"

"You are so lucky I don't have a kunai on me now or _I would seriously kill you!_"

"Ow! Ow! I can retaliate! Hyah!"

"BOTH OF YOU QUIET DOWN, HINATA'S TALKING!"

"Ow! My eye! My eye! Tenten what'd you do that for?"

"To shut you up. And stop complaining, all I did was spray cucumber melon body spray at you, at least you'll smell good."

"…"

"W-well first K-Kurenai-sensei showed us some m-more ways of treating wounds… so w-we were put in the minor wounds s-section… and w-we saw a lot of weird things…"

"Weird things?"

"People h-had cuts on th-their chest and legs… I f-feel bad for those with cuts on their legs… especially those with it on the inside of their thigh…"

"So you got to see naked people!"

"No! Ano… yes… no… er… maybe?"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. All's Natural that ends Natural!"

"Isn't it 'all's well that ends well' Tenten?"

"Shh Ino, I just modified it a little!"

"W-well, Kiba just stared when w-we saw a medic-nin treating a w-woman's cut… she h-had her legs spread open a-and it was obvious Kiba w-was thinking bad thoughts…"

"And?"

"…Shino-kun hit him on the head…"

"Shino?"

"Yeah… I guess it was because Kiba k-kept getting closer and closer u-until he was almost touching... you know…"

"Hahahaha! Shino! Hitting Kiba! On the head! I knew he was going to do it soon! Hahaha!"

"HA! I got some of your chips!"

"No fair Sakura, we were all listening to Hinata's story! That was a cheap move! CHEAP!"

"We're ninjas; we're supposed to be cheap!"

"I BEG TO DIFFER!"

"Hey do you guys want to do a makeover?'

"Hm…?"

"YES! Makeover! I get to touch makeup!"

"A-ano… who are we going to m-makeover?"

"You!"

"ME!"

------------------------+

"…t-this feels funny…"

"Stop moving your fingers, I can't paint your nails right if their moving!"

"It tickles!"

"Close your eyes Hinata."

"A-ano?"

"Sakura, purple eye shadow!"

"Yes ma'am!"

"Sakura, hand me that little ivory box right there!"

"This one?"

"Yeah, that one."

"What color lipstick should she have?"

"Mm… I don't know… hey Ino, wha—"

"_Do not break me from my painting of Hinata's nails or I will personally hang you with daisies than sell you in a bouquet._"

"…ok… anyways, just give me this one!"

"C-can I look in the mirror?"

"No! Not until we're totally done!"

"Are you sure we can't cut your hair?"

"…yeah… F-father would be mad at me… like he was at Neji…"

"He was mad a Neji?"

"Once, Neji accidentally got his hair cut off an inch, and F-father found out…"

"An inch?"

"Father has very sharp eyes."

"…oooooook… I'm so thankful I was not born in the Hyuuga family, no offense to you Hinata… they sound harsh…"

"You have no idea."

"Done!"

"Can I move my fingers now?"

"No! You have to let them dry! Now take off your socks!"

"Eh?"

"I'm going to paint your toenails now!"

"Eh!"

"Hey Sakura-forehead, hand me that washbasin."

"What makes me think I'll give you the washbasin you pig? Do I look like servant to you?"

"No, but you're the only one not doing anything now!"

"That's just because I have to wait for Tenten to be done with the makeup before I can pull her hair back!"

"Aren't you supposed to do her hair first, then the makeup?"

"I-It doesn't matter! PIG!"

"BILLBOARD-BROW!"

"Ooh! New word! I'm _so_ scared!"

"Just give it to me!"

"Here."

"Took you long enough!"

"Be thankful I gave to you _at all_ you stupid girl!

"Hinata, put your feet in here… we got that body salt last week right? Where is it… Oh, here! Ok, Hinata, I'm going to wet this and scrub your feet with it ok? It might sting a little…"

"What is it?"

"It cleans up the dirt from your feet and makes it smell…"

"L-like strawberries?"

"Yeah, like strawberries. So at the simulation wedding your crush will want to eat your feet."

"…is that a g-good thing?"

"Yes. No. I think. Hold _still_."

"Ahaha! That t-tickles even more than the nail polish!"

"Then you have no idea how ticklish painting your toe-nails are…"

"Aha…ha…ha?"

"Ok, I'm almost done. Hinata open your eyes nice and wide."

"T-tenten what is that b-black thing?"

"Mascara. Now don't blink…"

"Can I do her hair now? Can I do her hair now? Please? Please?"

"Why are you so excited Sakura?"

"Because I'm going to make Hinata's hair the most pretty you'll ever see it! Mwahaha!"

"…why do I feel this empty feeling in my stomach?"

--------------------------------------+

Author's notes: I think I'm going to switch between dialogue and normal writing every other chapter… I have to admit, dialogue takes only a fifth as long as normal writing, and people like it better… but I'm not sure if this one is easy enough to guess who's talking…


	4. Hairy Armpits and Tomatoes

**Daisies and Deodorant**

+--------------------------------------+

Reviews

+------------------------+

Lol I appreciate the reviews, but why do I have the sinking feeling that every chapter there are less and less reviews? O-O-? Is it just me? Maybe its because my humor meter's going down... Anyways, Thanx for all the (wonderful, spectacular and almighty) reviewers who kindly reviewed!

**Shikamaru's Butterrfly**: _I can tell perfectly well who's talking in your dialouge version; you are very good at personalizing each one's voice, but personally, I prefer the normal writing. / Also, as a side note, I'm making a sleep-over story too, hope your not mad? Bcuz that would suck bcuz I started it before I even saw your story so you can't be mad at me... /Anyway, hope to see more later._

Me: Er, duh no. There are thousands and thousands of people out there writing Naruto sleepover stories (I've read, like fifteen of them myself) so I don't think its much of a problem unless you're using the same ideas/ things/ words as I am and call it the same... then I'd get mad. But thanx for reviewing! This chapter is a mix between normal writing and dialogue. Lol you readers get to see me test out new styles of writing.

**whatthehellwasithinkin**: _lol, interesting, hah, actually, i realy want(expect) Shino to bonk Kiba on the head some day, lol. update plz_

Me: I will try to update this story and (try) to keep it in a sort of good quality. Lol I've always wanted to write something where Shino finally loses it and tears Kiba apart...

**Evil-death-fairy-of-DOOM: **_poor Hinata, it must have been torture lol and SHINO HIT KIBA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...HA! lol, hurry up with the next chapter! DATTEBAYO!_

Me: Thankfully you get to see what Hinata looks like this chapter! I'm not sure if it was torture... maybe? Is unintentional torture torture? Lol thanx for reviewing! (Smooches reviewer) Ok, maybe not a kiss, cookie next time?

**darkdrag0nchild:** _Oh God. I love Tenten. She's just soo fun :D /Write more!_

Me: Let us see if I can stay consistent...

+------------------------+

_Chapter 4_

Hairy Armpits and Tomatoes

+------------------------+

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto's world. However, I do own this story. So don't you DARE steal my story idea and plot or I will HUNT YOU DOWN! …thank you_

+--------------------------------------+

"Dude, what are they doing now?"

"How should I know? I don't know how to tell what girls are doing from here! And besides, Hinata's stupid hair's blocking the way."

There was a rustle, followed by a sharp yelp of protest.

"Ow! Ok, ok, Hinata's hair isn't stupid! Just put down Akamaru!"

Four young boys, all roughly around twelve years old, crouched behind two rather inconspicuous rose bushes. Two of them were fighting over space on the windowsill so they could get a better look, one was sitting placidly against the wall and munching potato chips and the other just stood plastered against the wall, eyes darting to and fro as a watch out.

Kiba growled, frustrated, "Move over Uzamaki, I'll do the looking. Go and be company to Chouji or something… oh gosh, look Ino's taking off her shirt!" Drool dripped into a puddle near Kiba's feet. Shino rolled his eyes.

"Stop being perverted, Inuzuka, and get on with the mission."

"Self-assigned mission." Kiba corrected, before turning back to the window. His eyes became as wide as saucers. "Now she's taking off her skirt! And so is Tenten!" Naruto head butted Kiba out of the way, who squawked in surprise, and pressed his face against the glass.

"Sakura! What about Sakura!"

"Get down stupid or they'll see you!"

"What do you mean they'll see us? They're way too busy to— AUGH!"

Kiba and Naruto sputtered in shock as the cold concoction of cucumber-melon perfume was spilt onto them. Chouji looked up from his chips. "Eh?"

"RUN!" Kiba screamed, and the four disappeared in a flash, just as Hinata stuck her head out the window.

------------------------+

"Are you sure there isn't anyone there, Hinata?" Tenten looked up from painting her own nails. The pale eyed girl peered outside and squinted in the dim light of the night.

"T-there _were_, because I heard someone say 'R-run!' but they were gone as soon as I looked out…" Hinata paused, "D-do you want me to go look for them?"

Even if Tenten said yes, she couldn't any how. The makeover had really done a wonder on her. Her eyelashes had been done over with mascara. Purple eye shadow made her eyes look less dull and purple eye liner made her look more Asian. Pink blush made her look permanently doll-like and a sort of metallic shade of violet made her lips appear to pout. Her nails and toenails were done over by Ino (who also insisted that she wear a violet and silver anklet and a toe-ring, which Hinata secretly took off later because it chaffed her toes) and she smelled like lavender.

The most intriguing part of her makeover, though, was definitely her hair. After much pleading, Hinata let Sakura put temporary light purple highlight streaks (that would wash out after one shower) into her hair, which meant spending an hour with her hair in the water following the weird instructions the little box came with. Sakura had also worked out all that hair spray that allowed Hinata's hair to defy gravity and put it into a miniature high ponytail. A violet crystal brooch was inserted at the base of the ponytail and half of her bangs had been clipped up with a decorated bobby pin.

She looked good enough to be a hostess in a club or something.

Tenten shook her head no and blew her nails.

Normally, she wasn't really a really girly girl, but that was only because all her free time was spent training, buying weapons, planning to train, or thinking about training. But today was already specially planned to be fun and girly, so her inner girl could be as preppy, girlish, and squealish as she pleased and no one would really care.

"Never mind them, we're a little behind schedule because _someone_ spilled the turquoise sparkle nail polish all over the carpet…" She eyed Sakura intently, "And _some other person_ had insisted on spraying Axxe in the room…" Hinata blushed.

"Well you said I could buy it after that incident at the store, and… i-it reminds me of Father…"

"Your father smells like Axxe?"

"S-sort of…"

The other girls made faces at each other. Tenten waved her hand so her nails would dry faster. She had painted them a dark hue of pink with sparkles. She and the other girls had even tried the airbrushing machine that came with her sleepover deluxe pack (which she got on eBay), with both successful and unsuccessful consequences.

For example, Hinata's violet flowers on her thumbs and index fingers were quite pretty, and stood out because they had outlined it with some of that nail polish-like sparkle mix.

Sakura's little hearts, though, turned out to be a mess because the heart stencil she used had slipped off her fingers while airbrushing so in the end her whole hand was soaked in white nail polish. They had spent twenty minutes cleaning up her hands, repainting her nails, and then reapplying each little heart carefully so that the same mistake would not be repeated again.

Ino had finished the little criss-crosses she had insisted on hand painting on herself (after Sakura's white-nail polish incident) and looked at Tenten. "I know you aren't going to airbrush your nails, but what are we going to do next since we're behind schedule?" Ino lifted up one of Tenten's only violet blouses and squinted at it, "hey, you sure this will fit me? No offense, I don't think I'm your size…"

"More space to move around in, then," Tenten said cheerfully, satisfied her nails were finally dried. When Sakura had her hands dripping in white nail polish, she had gotten some all over Ino's shirt and skirt and some on the bottom of Tenten's pants. Oddly, she didn't seem to get any on herself.

She went over to her bed and opened the Super Deluxe Sleepover Kit of Girly Girls! ™ and squinted at the little individually wrapped boxes inside. "You girls up for some Truth or Dare?"

------------------------+

"…so that's how the game works. Any questions?"

A hand shot up.

"Yes, Hinata?"

"So… what happens is we don't have a choice in what we ask?"

"Yeah, so we won't be stuck with any stupid or boring questions…" Tenten patted the two little card piles in front of her. "Blue cards are Dare cards and red cards are Truth cards. Some of the cards are specific, like 'Kiss the person on your left' but most of them require you to spin the bottle to choose your victim… if there is one…"

"Sounds fun…" Sakura grinned at Ino, "I will win this game of Truth or Dare!"

"How do you win Truth or Dare?"

"A-ano… isn't it that if you succeed in your card, then you get to move ahead one step on the Truth or Dare board? And you w-win when you get to the end of the board... which is... ten spaces... and if you can't do it, you have to move back one space, draw another card, do it, then also take off an article of clothing… right?" Each girl looked at what they were wearing.

"Shirt, undershirt, bra, pants, underwear, socks, hair ties…" Tenten counted on her fingers.

"Dress, pants, bra, underwear, socks, hair tie…"

"Jacket, blouse, undershirt, bra, pants, shorts, underwear, socks…"

"That's a lot of clothing you've got on there, Hinata…"

"I know, but it's because I'm kind of afraid of… t-the cold…"

"Blouse, Capri's, bra, thong…"

"Thong?" All the girls stared at Ino, who stared back defiantly.

"_Thong_, hair tie, socks."

Tenten made a face. "Um… yeah… ok, can we get started?"

"I'm purple!"

"Pink!"

"Sakura, I'm pink."

"No fair Tenten! Fine! I'm red!"

"White?"

Hinata held up her little white figurine and looked at it carefully, "w-wow these figurines are really high quality… t-they can be mini-statues, you know, put them around the house if you don't play this game again." Tenten shrugged and set down the bottle-spinner.

"According to the rules, the one who starts is the one who the bottle's tip lands on… ok… spin the bottle…" The bottle spun around and around on its little pedestal and the girls crowded around. "And… Sakura! Truth or Dare?"

Everyone stared at the pink-haired girl, who looked back at them defiantly. "Ok! I'm totally up to this! Um… truth!"

Hinata looked over Tenten's shoulder as Tenten picked up the first red Truth card, "When was the first time you asked someone how babies were made and what did they say?" Sakura blinked.

"Um… I really can't remember… er… I think it was… when I was six. Yeah, six." She looked at Ino, "remember that time when Kei's mom had a new baby and I asked her how babies were made? And she said…" Sakura started laughing, "She said that a little raccoon would bring a mound of clay to their house, and they would take the clay and mold it into a baby and fill it with milk." Ino laughed.

"And then, poof! The next day, baby! Yeah, I remember that. Mostly because the day after…"

"…we tried it right?"

"And the only thing we made was a huge mess in my backyard."

"God, your mom was _so_ mad…"

"Really?" Hinata poked her head into the group, "When I asked N-Neji-niisan how babies were made he said a man would take his thingy and stick it in a woman's thingy… I remember having nightmares of men chasing after me with their thingies and…. yeah…" Everyone stared at her. Hinata turned beet red.

"A-ano…?"

"…never mind Hinata. Sakura, move your piece one step forward." Sakura took her piece and moved it onto a pink block.

"Pink! My favorite color!"

"I thought it was your favorite flavor."

"It is! It's my favorite color…_ and _favorite flavor!"

"…is pink a flavor?"

Sakura flushed, "I don't know… but in my world it is." She took the bottle and spun. Everyone eyed it as it landed on Tenten. "Tenten! My turn to question you! Truth or Dare?"

Tenten smiled, looking at her nails. Yes, her nails would give her power. Her nails will give her _courage!_ Oh dear, she's been watching too much late-night television… "Dare."

"Okey-dokey… blue are Dare Cards… so…" Sakura looked at the dare, "Um… Go outside with your skimpiest clothes on… out in the middle of the road… and say 'Peace to the world!'" Tenten turned red as a beet.

"S-skimpiest clothes?"

"Do you have any?"

"Um… I have some really short shorts…"

"You can borrow my thong!"

"NO Ino!"

After Sakura and Ino raided her room for skimpy clothes, Tenten immediately found herself, out in the cold, wearing nothing but a training bra and some really short shorts, barefoot and in the middle of the road. Some passerby's looked at her strangely. Someone even whistled.

"Nice rack ya got there."

"Whoa man, take a pic I can totally see her nipples…"

Tenten turned as red as fire, both out of shame and embarrassment. She was just about to take out a kunai and kill him when she calmed herself down. No, she would not be distracted. She was out here for one purpose. One mission. Ignore that man; he was just some sick pervert anyways.

She took a sudden deep breath and opened her arms up. Closing her eyes, she screamed, "PEACE TO THE WORLD!" This attracted everyone's attention within a twenty-foot radius, and they all gaped at her. It didn't really help that due to missions she had slacked off in shaving her armpits the past couple weeks. Face red, she squeaked and ducked out of the street and back into her house. The other girls, who had been hiding behind some trees, giggled and met her in her room. Ino was holding a camera.

"Three shots," She explained at Tenten's incredulous look, "One of you before shouting, one of you shouting, and one of you after shouting."

"Whatever," Tenten muttered under her breath, "Ino can you hand me that razor? I'm going to go shave my armpits… now… you can go on without me."

"Can I move your piece?"

"…"

As Tenten disappeared into the bathroom, Sakura took her pink piece and moved it forward.

"She didn't say yes, you know."

"I don't care, she didn't say no either."

"…"

"…"

"…"

Hinata looked at the other two girls. "…s-so who's going to spin the bottle?"

Sakura raised her hand, "me! I'll spin the bottle!" Ino growled and pushed her out of the way. Sakura yelped.

"No way Sakura-forehead you already had your turn! I'm doing it!" Before the pink-haired youth could retaliate, Ino leaned over and spun the bottle.

"Ino!"

"Quiet!"

"Hinata!"

"ME--!" Hinata squeaked, covering her mouth immediately.

"Yep! Truth or dare?"

Hinata paused, twiddling her fingers. She found it an annoying habit that she did whenever she was nervous, and no matter how hard she tried to break it, it always snuck back on her. "Um… truth…"

"Ok, one truth card coming right up."

Ino picked up a red card. "Ok… here it is… who was the first boy you ever kissed and what did it taste like?" Hinata squeaked, high-pitched and her face flooded crimson.

"A-ano… well… um… er… uh…"

"You don't have to say it, Hinata," Ino said kindly, just choose a different card and take off one article of clothing…" Hinata shook her head. She wasn't going to be a coward! She'd have to admit one of her deepest and darkest secrets.

"w-well… the first boy I ever kissed… was… Ne—Ne—N—" Hinata stopped and took a deep breath.

"Well…?"

"N-Neji-niisan…"

"EH!" Sakura and Ino crowded around her, "Eh, Hinata, Neji's your cousin!"

"I-I know… it was when I was six… I asked him what a kiss felt like s-since I saw M-mother and Father kissing so h-he kissed me…"

Sakura and Ino looked at each other and giggled. Hinata blinked, confused.

"Oh gosh, was that Neji's first kiss too?"

"I-I don't know…"

"What did it taste like?"

"…"

"What?"

"...toes…"

"TOES?"

"TOMATOES!"

"Oh!"

Sakura blinked. "Tomatoes?"

"Tomatoes."

"Tomatoes? You sure?"

"Y-yes tomatoes… I asked him when he was eating a tomato."

"…"

"Tomato?"

"YES TOMATOES!"

Sakura and Ino looked at each other again. Ino took out a small notepad from her purse and scribbled something down on paper.

"A-ano what's that?"

"Blackmail."

"B-blackmail!"

"Don't look like that, not against you, for Neji…"

"…oh…"

Ino finished her scribbling and put the notepad down. "Ok, Hinata spin the—"

"SHIT!"

"…" The three girls looked at the closed bathroom door. Shortly after, Tenten came out, looking a little angry with a pink tang-top on and the same short shorts she wore outside. Several bandages were noticeably tucked away under her left arm.

"Don't look at me like that; I just accidentally missed with the razor, that's all. Hinata, spin the bottle."

"O-ok…"

"Wait, hold up!" Ino raised her hand, "I'm the only one that hasn't gone yet. You don't need to spin the bottle." Hinata looked at Tenten, who shrugged.

"Ok, Ino, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!"

"A-ano…" Hinata leaned over the board and picked up a blue card, "Er… Sit on the person to your left's lap and…" Hinata leaned over and whispered something into Ino's ear. Ino made a face and nodded. She looked over at the person sitting at her left, Tenten, and sighed.

"Alright Tenten this is like a game of charades. You're going to try to guess what I'm trying to say while I start taking your clothes off." Tenten stared at her.

"…what?"

"I. Start. Taking. Your. Clothes. OFF."

"…that's what I thought you said…"

"I'll continue to take your clothes off until you guess what I'm saying."

"And if you manage to take all my clothes off before I guess right?"

"Than… I still move a space but you'll be left naked."

Hinata and Sakura giggled.

"It's ok Tenten we're all girls here!" Sakura patted Tenten's back, "It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Yeah," Tenten sighed, "right…"

------------------------+

"Oh gosh Ino's starting to take off Tenten's clothes!"

"WHAT!"

"Shhh Naruto, Shut up!"

"Don't tell me to shut up!"

The boys were crowded around the outside of Tenten's window, peering in through the small space.

"What are they doing?"

"They going to have some lesbian sex?"

"What!" Naruto hissed at Shikamaru, "Where'd you get that idea?"

The shadow ninja shrugged, "Well, why else would she be taking off her clothes?"

"Maybe for some girl-related things?" Chouji suggested.

"Like les— ow!"

"Shut up, you're getting in the way of my view of her rack!" Kiba peered closer at the window. "And Hinata is all done up, she's so adorable! And—whoa…"

"Hey Kiba, she's got some nice breasts, right?"

"…real nice. Bigger than Hinata's…"

Naruto scurried away from the window and came back a few moments later with a camera. Kiba grabbed the disposable and took some pictures. Shino raised an eyebrow.

"Kiba, don't make me hit you again."

"Shut up bug boy and let me enjoy a moment of young teenager-happiness."

"…"

Naruto moved in closer to Kiba, "Hey let me look, let me look!" Kiba ignored him.

"Hey Akamaru."

"Yip!"

"AUGH!" Naruto suddenly screamed, Akamaru at his ankle, canine teeth digging sharply into his skin, "GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!"

"Shut up Naruto!"

"AUGH! DEMON DOG! DEEEEEEEEMON DOG!"

------------------------+

"Hey Ino," Tenten said uncomfortably, down to her bra and underwear, Ino unclipping her bra straps, "Do you hear something?"

"Whew!" Ino said, letting go of Tenten, "You finally got it right! Took you long enough."

"No, seriously," She cocked her head to the left, "Did any of you say 'demon dog, deeeeeemon dog'?" The girls looked at each other.

"…no…?"

Tenten frowned. "I must be imagining things."

--------------------------------------+

Author's Notes: I feel like my supply of humor is running out. The Boys make an appearance (To those who are confused, the first time the boys come its Naruto, Kiba, Chouji and Shino. The Second time they come its Kiba, Naruto, Chouji, Shika, and Shino) Yes, Shikamaru just popped out of no where to join them. I'm sorry the truth or dare isn't longer, but seriously, its only four girls! I'm going to write another extra next chapter. Thanks for reading and please R/R but no flames! TO PEOPLE WHO WANT TO KNOW WHAT HINATA LOOKS LIKE MADEOVER GO TO: http/ www . deviantart . com / deviation / 36638460 / (without spaces)


	5. The Kidnappings Begin

**Daisies and Deodorant**

+--------------------------------------+

Reviews

+------------------------+

Goodness, last chapter got a lot of reviews... mostly for Kiba being hentai, though, heh... Thanks for all the wonderful wonderful reviews! Read author's notes about suggestions for the story... I might use some of them (of course I'll give credit to the people in this section, so don't sue me!) Ok, on to the reviews...

**Guiltshow: **_Ehh...I thought it was pretty good...but KIBA / Kiba, I can't picture you that preverted. / Good job. / Except for Kiba. But I may be in denial. / Can't wait for next chapter. / -JH_

Me: Lol I understand the denial part... at least one person had to be perverted and... Kiba got picked? (I was THIS close to making Shino perverted by Kiba drew the shortest straw )

**Evil-Death-Fairy-Of-DOOM: **_OMG DEMON DOG! hysterical laughter ano i don't noe if unintentional troture is torture and YA COOKIE! lol_

Me: Want another cookie? (Sugar or Chocolate Chip?)

**Sonic: **_fuuny please update_

Me: I will try.But I've got a little writer's block on right now, so it'll take longer...

**Darkangeltears66: **_Yay! Another chapter/ Oh Tenten, the poor soul.--. Make Sakura suffer more. I hate her with a passion! D_

Me: Lol hey you replied! I don't know, I'm not prone to a lot of Sakura-bashing... but I'm very good at torturing Sasuke.

**Hatsuharulover181**:_ I LOVE it. Please Update._

Me: Thank you very much, and, I will.

**Animesoul167**:_This is really funny! I want to read more more more!_

Me: Let us pray to God that he will give me more ideas to right more more more

**Kiyoshi-chan: **_Perverts, Weird Neji, Crazy Girls & Bad Truth or Dare Game... / So wrong... Funny but very wrong. / Anyway, looking __foward for the naxt chap./ -(Quiet child)_

Me: Lol that's a really good summary right there... anyway, thanks for reviewing! (gets out huge bags of cookies and hands them out to everybody.) And if you don't like a cookie, here's a free Naruto Manga...

+--------------------------------------+

_The Shinobi Girls Club of DOOM! stage show_

_EXTRA 2_

+------------------------+

_Shika: Me again? Well… I'm not going to even bother with intros… just enjoy the stupid show. _

_(walks off stage)_

_-SILENCE-_

_Voice in Back: …what?_

_Authoress: YES! You are in this one!  
_

_Voice in Back: … so troublesome…_

_(Shika reappears)_

_Shika: …ok…_

_Kiba: YES! WE BOYS MAKE AN APPEREARANCE THIS CHAPTER!_

_Shino: … we made an appearance in the last chapter too…_

_Kiba: (turns around) Shh--! They don't know that!_

_Shino: … Kiba, of course they know that._

_Kiba: You're ruining the effect! STUPID BUG BOY!  
_

_Shika: Guys… shut up…_

_Kiba: (looks like an idea just dawned on him) Oh yeah! Where's Naruto?_

_All the boys: (looks around)_

_Shika: …not here._

_Voice in back: GET AWAY FROM ME!_

_(Another) Voice in back: I WILL DEFEAT YOU!_

_(Neji appears on stage, Lee chasing after him)_

_Neji: GET AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!_

_Lee: I WILL WIN THIS RACE BY TWO FEET OR I WILL DO FIVE-HUNDRED PUSH UPS!  
_

_Neji: (screaming) THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!_

_(Both run off stage)  
_

_All the boys: O-O--!_

_Shino: …_

_Kiba: …o…k…!_

_Shika: (looks at the string next to him) Looks like it's time to get on with the story, neh? (pulls string and the curtain closes)_

_the end_

+--------------------------------------+

_Chapter 5_

The Kidnappings Begin

+------------------------+

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto's world. However, I do own this story. So don't you DARE steal my story idea and plot or I will HUNT YOU DOWN! …thank you_

+------------------------+

"LEMONADE!"

"…"

"…"

"Ino, why do have a daisy floating in there?"

"EH!"

The girls were out on the porch after Tenten's parents chased them out due to Hinata's inability to judge her distances during a back flip and accidentally set off the fire extinguisher, which now filled the entirety of the living room. Thus, rendering it incapable to hold the four girls indoors any longer.

"Oh well! Daisies enhance the flavor!"

"No way! That's… roses!"

"Don't be stupid Sakura-forehead it's definitely daisies! _I _should know!"

"Roses!"

"Daisies!"

"_Ro—_ses!"

"D_aaaaaaai_sies!"

"Roses, roses, roses!"

"Daisies, Daisies, Daisies!"

"Ro—ack!"

"SAKURA!"

Tenten looked down at her rapidly yellow-stained beige shorts, "Sakura!"

"Sorry, Ino was provoking me!"

"What!"

Tenten groaned as she got up from her seat, looking at the mess of yellow liquid oozing down the inside of her thigh, "Now it looks like I just went on myself there… now I have to change… again…" She sighed as she set down her empty cup on the porch railing, "…I'll be back…"

After the girls were sure Tenten left, Ino kicked Sakura under the small wooden table, and Sakura punched her in the face.

"DAISIES!"

"ROSES!"

"YOU'RE ALL WRONG IT'S VIOLETS!"

"…"

"…"

Ino looked up with Sakura's fist on her cheek and Sakura glared sideways with Ino's foot ground into her shoe. Hinata blushed, but firmly plucked a violet from a nearby plant and dropped it into her cup. She sat down, closed her eyes, and sighed as she sipped her lemonade.

"Yes… it's definitely violets."

Ino and Sakura looked at each other, than looked at the dreamy Hyuuga.

_Cuckoo,_ Sakura signaled.

_She's just trying to get us to shut up, _Ino signaled back.

Sakura paused.

_I still think she's cuckoo._

Ino nodded.

_Gone off the hook this time?_

_Yeah, Ino-pig what did you do with her nails? Brainwash her?_

_Brainwash—_

"Ino what are you doing leaning over the table with one hand twisted behind your back touching your left side and the other hand tugging your ponytail, sticking your tongue out and making snorting noises?" Tenten appeared from the front door, puffs of white stuck to her heels, "…and the living room is still inaccessible, by the way."

"…do you want a violet, Tenten?"

Tenten stared at Hinata. "…ok, I won't ask." She pulled a chair over and sat it in, sighing, ruffling her hair. "Sorry if I seem kind of tired out. I'm just thinking about how we're going to lure the boys here, and what we should do next, and how to prepare, and… you know…"

Sakura frowned, straightening her back (She had had one leg over the back of her neck, balancing against the table, sticking her tongue out and trying to roll her eyes into the back of her head). "Hey, wasn't I the one that was supposed to come up with a super awesome plan to lure the boys here?"

Tenten paused. "…yeah, that's right. So… do you have a super awesome plan?"

Sakura leaned forward, along with Ino, who was intent on listening. "Ok, so here's the deal," she whispered, "I've already got some easy stuff planned for some guys… like Kiba, for instance…"

"…violets," Hinata murmured. The other girls ignored her.

"…so we just place the biscuits in a little trail leading back to the backyard and up the tree house?" Tenten frowned, "isn't that a little too easy?"

Ino snorted. "Knowing Kiba, that's twice as enough for him to be tricked. That boy doesn't just smell like a dog, his mind's like one too."

"trampling… violets… you guys…"

"Shh Hinata, are you going to help with this or not? Sakura-forehead bought some of these weird biscuit things to lure Kiba—"

"violets… you guys… you know…"

"…and then—Hinata, are you listening to me?"

Hinata was now perfectly still, staring out into a dark corner at the edge of Tenten's front yard. "You really don't have to go through the trouble… they're over there… some of them, anyway. Trampling the violets."

Hinata pointed at a pair of sparkling lenses in the dark of the night.

------------------------+

"…oh crap, they saw us."

"…"

"What are you planning to do?"

"Why are you asking me!"

"You're the genius around here, Shikamaru! Think of something!"

"Should we move back?"

"Back? Back where! Behind is the shed wall!"

"…it was just a suggestion, Naruto."

"We all know you're trying Chouji. But we're back at square one!"

"Square one? Was there even squares to—"

"…"

"Shino?"

"…guys, where's Kiba?"

--

"… I don't wanna make bouquets! I want to help kidnap the guys!"

"Mmph!"

"Oh shut up Sakura, you've been whining ever since you started to make the bouquets. Besides, it's not that much since there's only four of us!"

"Yeah Forehead, see I'm already done with my first one!"

"PIG!"

"Mmph mmph!"

Tenten sighed, massaging her temples. She was clad in a black-only ninja suit that would help lure the four boys she had assigned herself to kidnap. Since there were eight boys total, she had split the different boys between her and Hinata. She was in charge of Neji, Lee, Sasuke and Chouji while Hinata had her hands full with Kiba, Shino, Shika and Naruto. She turned silently and left the tree house.

Sakura checked that Tenten was out of range, then threw her unfinished bouquet onto Ino's. "YOU MADE A BOUQUET OUT OF DAISIES! ROSES ARE BETTER!"

"No they're not! Not for a wedding anyways. THEY PRICK PEOPLE! Daisies are SIMPLE and HAPPY!"

"SO ARE ROSES!"

"DAISIES!"

"Mmph!"

"ROSES!"

"Why the heck do you like roses so much? I thought you liked cherry blossoms!"

Sakura paused. "…oh… right. CHERRY BLOSSOMS!"

"DAISIES!"

"Mmph…"

"MY CHERRY BLOSSOMS ARE SUPERIOR TO YOUR STUPID LITTLE DAISIES!"

"YOU HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED A BOUQUET!"

"I-I… PIG!"

"FOREHEAD!"

"MMPH!"

Ino threw a rock at the struggling bundle placed in the corner of the tree house, "Shut up Kiba you have NO SAY IN THIS!"

"MMPH mmph MmPH-!"

Tenten, who was only outside the tree house door (and could hear the two of them screaming), sighed. After the lemonade incident on the porch, the girls had schemed up a plan for the boys and the simulation wedding. They decided they'd capture all the boys, not just the ones whom they liked, and appoint them best man and 'audience' (strapped to the chair in a straight-jacket, no less…).

Sakura's first idea had worked perfectly for Kiba. It had only taken a matter of dog biscuits and Hinata to lure him in…

------------------------+

"Hey-! Look Akamaru, it's our lucky day! A dog biscuit!" Kiba bent over and picked up the little treat with his fingers. Akamaru yipped happily in his arms as Kiba continuously picked up more and more, edging more and more away from the other boys. "And here's another one… and another… and another… wow! God must be smiling down at us now!"

Kiba followed the inconspicuous /cough/ trail down the road to the backyard, across the lawn, and up the tree house. In front of the door to the tree house was the whole box of dog-treats. "Oh man! So lucky-! And I was hungry too! C'mon Akamaru let's share!" They were about to dig in when Hinata quietly opened the door and stood in front of them. Kiba froze.

"…"

"…"

"…uh… hi, Hinata?"

"…Kiba." For some reason, Hinata was blushing crimson, and her hands were holding something behind her back. "Ano… what are you doing here?"

Kiba scratched the back of his head nervously. Well, he couldn't really say he was here to spy on the girls in search of some girl nakedness or something, right? "Er… just taking a walk?"

Hinata bit her lip. "Ano…"

"What?"

"…sorry."

Kiba blinked as Hinata suddenly whipped out a large mesh net from behind her back and attacked him with it.

"…? EH! AGH---!"

------------------------+

Thus, the first boy was captured, tied up in a little white-blanket bundle with a mesh net strapped around him thrown into a corner in the tree house. Soon, he was to be joined with seven other boys. Oh goody.

------------------------+

To everyone who knew him well enough, they knew he took a small jog from one side of the village to the other every night at around eleven to avoid some unwanted attention. They also knew that time to time a certain green-clad eccentric 'joined' him in his jogging… which would cause him to jog faster to get away from 'the green beast of Konoha'.

"YOSH! What excellent air to be jogging in today, my rival! If I cannot finish a whole lap from one side of the village to another within ten minutes I SWEAR I WILL DO A HUNDRED PUSH-UPS ON A JAGGED ROCK BY THE CREEK!"

"…I need to get out of here." Neji thought as he jogged faster. Lee's speed increased too, to catch up to the Hyuuga. Neji ran faster. Lee caught up. Neji ran even faster. Lee caught up again. After five minutes they were both running at top speed, Neji because he wanted to get away from his crazy teammate and Lee because he thought it was another 'contest' or something.

All of a sudden, Neji stopped. Lee crashed into him, sending both of them flying through the air and landing about fifteen feet away from where Neji had stopped. They stayed on the floor for about a second before Lee suddenly popped right up again, miraculously unhurt. Neji was a different matter entirely, though he didn't show his pain when he picked himself from the floor.

"Oi, Neji, why'd you stop! Now I've wasted five seconds of my youth and must now do not a hundred, but _two_ hundred push-ups for my failure!" Lee wailed.

"I think fate has called out to me…" Neji murmured. "To go left…" Like a zombie he started trudging left. Lee blinked.

"Eh--?" He looked in the direction that Neji had pointed and saw a little white arrow, pointing left, stating 'Hyuuga Neji, Fate has called out to you to go this way'… Lee sweat-dropped.

"Oh dear…"

------------------------+

"You don't think… he got found out?"

"…"

"…this is pretty sad, but I think Kiba is really that stupid."

"Just what I expected. Ugh…"

"…what do we do?"

"Well save Kiba of course!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Naruto, we'd all get captured ourselves then…"

"Shut up! We're his friends' right? It's our duty to rescue him! That's what friends do! They defend each other and help each other and do all this friendly stuff… and as his friends, because it is our duty, we must—urk!"

"…"

"…good job Shino."

"Thanks."

"We still haven't decided what to do… I mean, Kiba, being the senseless person he is, might've spilled the beans and the girls might be out hunting for us! We all have to hide… let's give each other bird-call names to identify each other. I'm going to be a lark, Shino's an owl, Naruto's a mourning dove, and Chouji… is… a… chicken. Yeah, I guess that'll work."

"Hey I don't wanna be a mourning dove! I wanna be an owl! An _OWL_!"

"Shut up stupid! Ok, Shino switch! _You_ are now a mourning dove and _you_ are an owl. Ok. Everyone got that settled? I mean, this is so totally troublesome… why'd _I_ have to take charge… ugh… sound off!"

"Ooh--! Ooh--!"

"Decent call Shino. Naruto!"

"HOOT HOOT!"

"…"

"…that's gotta be the worst owl call in history…"

"Shut up! I bet its better than Chouji's chicken! Chouji, chicken call!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Chouji?"

"…"

"Cripes, now Chouji's gone too!"

"I don't know…"

"Maybe he went out to pee? OW!"

"Naruto! In Tenten's yard? In your dreams!"

"…Shika--!"

"Hush. Ok, we just have to circle the perimeter of the yard, try to find the two lost nin, and get out of here… everyone got that?"

"…"

"…yes sir."

"Good, Naruto. You got that too Shino?"

"…"

"…"

"…Shino?"

"NO! We're being picked off, one by one!"

"Ok, just stay calm Naruto. Let's split up so whoever's capturing us will have a harder time, alright?"

"Ok, ok… sheesh…"

"Good. Now let's go."

------------------------+

Somewhere in a dark, moonlit room lay three dark bundles piled on top of each other. From one bundle was the sound of crunching, gobbling, and altogether disgusting eating noises…

"…mmph?"

"Mmo."

"MMPH!"

"Mmo Mmo mmo…"

"Mmph Meemo…"

"Meemo mmph mmph mmph."

The bundle on the bottom paused. "Mamaumph mumph… me mmph mmph mph?"

The chewing bundle considered. "…mmph?"

"Mmph!"

"…mmomay…"

"MMES!"

There was an exchange.

The bundle on the very top just sighed.

The air was chillingly silent as the three bundles said nothing.

Slowly, crunching sounds could be heard now from the bottom bundle…

------------------------+

Author's Notes: People, I am starting to get writer's blocks. Any suggestions for further story improvements are much appreciated. Do not worry: I did not forget about the shopping spree. I am sorry this chapter took so long to finish, and it was actually supposed to be longer, but I wanted to get it to you readers as fast as possible so… Yes the last part is kinda confusing. To the people who get it, congrats. To the people that don't—sorry, I don't want to ruin the moment by saying…


End file.
